ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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