Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
