Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
