His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
