dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You work out of a Hotel?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
