She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
