The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
