just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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