We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
