I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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