Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
