well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
