operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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