I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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