if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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