oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
