I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
