Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
this just has baby written all over it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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