don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
