I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
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I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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