walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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