I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
