Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
