I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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