Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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