He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
