the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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