If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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