his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Farmville is her only friend.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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