She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
