I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize