doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
