We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
