Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
