Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
