she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
