I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
