My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
