I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
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went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
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Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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