"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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