I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
