Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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