oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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