Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
