i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
