Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
