I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
