Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
