i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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