ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
