I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
