So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
