I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
