I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
