she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
