It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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