I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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