All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
