dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
