Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
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I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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