loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
