i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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